I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize