i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
