and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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