i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize