But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
