so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
