Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If I die, sorry about rent.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
