How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize