I understand Curling. That high.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
