I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
