I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
