i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Barsexuality is the new black.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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