Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
