i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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