I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
