so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
