please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
