Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
