and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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