so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
