I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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