she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
