so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
