So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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