I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
