Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
