Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize