The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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