just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize