Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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