i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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