I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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