She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
