Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
