so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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