Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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