I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize