I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
