I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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