I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
