This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
