He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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