woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
