its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
