i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
