would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
