Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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