Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
My cat gives me a boner
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We have started to decorate penises.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
