so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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