I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
