Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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