my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just puked most of my soul out..
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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