Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Help. Why am I so naked?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
