Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
