Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
