Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He felt like a one man threesome
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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