put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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