erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
