All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
You just made me feel so damn special
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
