oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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