Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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